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There was this international contest for the best life insurance policy - hey Actuarial Majors take note! a la Miss Universe. Bob Barker was the emcee:

Contestant No. 1 - from an American firm represented by an obnoxious one of those TV-host-late-night-30-minute-commercial types like Amazing Discoveries: "I will insure your child from birth to death."

Bob Barker smiles and says ,"Let's hear it for good old American values." Audience claps.

Contestant No. 2 - from a German firm, represented by a severely, handsome blonde, blue-eyed hunk: "I will insure your child from womb to tomb."

Bob Barker smiles again and says, "There you go."

Contestant No. 3 - from an English firm, represented by a dapper young Englishman in an elegant Saville Row suit with a perfect (but learned) Oxford accent: "I will top them all. I will insure your child, Bob (for a little touch of personality here, which is strange because the English is supposed to be cold, proper and formal) from conception to expiration."

Bob Barker ahhs and the audience is prompted to ahh with him.

Contestant No. 4 - from a Japanese firm, represented by a tall Japanese in a Giorgio Armani. He says in a perfect (also learned) Oxford English: "I will insure your child (whips out a chart) from sperm to worm."

Audience hoots. Bob Barker almost dies.

In a joke such as this, of course the Filipino always comes last.


Contestant No. 5. -- The Filipino. A dignified 5'2" executive with a slight beer belly, wearing a polo barong, of course, (or was that a gray bush jacket?) and holding an imitation leather clutch bag: (in a perfect American accent) "I will insure your child sir, from

erection to resurrection!


Bob Barker did have a heart attack.